Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Flying with little wings

Just a lil story about my lil sis, (Jai)
My lil sis and I met when we were both teachers assistance at the at the School for the Deaf and the Blind.. Besides the school being unique in itself this (young) woman who sat in a wheel chair was as equally beautiful and unique.. Jai, Is from India and she is a lil angel waiting for wings.. I knew it when I first met her she had a gentle and sweet innocent spirit. She was shy, but once she felt safe and secure, man she could talk.. She had so much to say and so many unspoken words in her heart!! I suggested that she began to write, and tell the world how she felt. She has NF and besides making her dependent to this wheel chair it has tried to crimple her mind.. Loneliness, and Darkness engulfs her daily and without the giant strength she has and her belief and faith in GOD it may win.. But because of Jai's Faith she now has her wings growing bigger and better all the time, and when I get feeling Low those wings surround me and she lifts me up and man you ought see her fly!!!!!! My lil sis has inspired me to be somebody, and when I feel low and defeated I look up to her and Thank God for Angels, even those lil angels with lil wings, for when her wings are spread, they are Bigger then Life!!!!!! I love you sis, Thanks for the lift everyday and in every way!!!!!! Now get out there and tell everrrrrrryone about NF......
Monique:0)~

Thursday, May 25, 2006

How The World Is...

I watched The Oprah Show she did a special presentation about a man (Elie Wiesel) who survived the holocaust and live to tell about it. He wrote a book about his horrific experience called “Night”… He is Nobel Peace Prize Winner prolific author, professor and world-renowned humanitarian. He took us back to Poland Auschwitz death camp where 6 million Jews were killed under the control of Adolf Hitler. He witnesses the murders of women children and men by gas chambers, starvations, working to death, getting deadly outbreaks of dysentery, typhus, tuberculosis, and malaria. He was 15 years old when he arrived at the constriction camp with his father. This terrible act went on into 1930-40s it ended April 16, 1945. It’s been 60 years since this event took place… To read more about him go to http://www.eliewieselfoundation.org/ or http://www.oprah.com/ The book is “Night” by Elie Wiesel

After watching, seeing, listening, and hearing, to his story of such madness I felt the tears rolling down my face for every emotional pain I was feeling I saw it all on his face it move me in way … yet I wasn’t there to witness it in the physical or mental state of mind for him to even describe is just unimaginable for me to even comprehend that something like this happened… and that he had to endure such terrible acts of a living such nightmares.

It goes to show how such hatred can destroy innocent’s lives in such a instance... how such atrocities you can’t even imagine happing is happing right now around the world in places such as Bosnia, Macedonia, Cambodia, and Kosovo.

One day you are living fully, the next your living poorly, tomorrow who knows… for there could be no more, for it could be hell, it could be lost, a day of war all because of hatred, but what you do, where you go, what you decide, what actions you take affects the world in ways you let it in good, bad, and evil, we change the world in a instance…
We are the makers of history of today, tomorrow, and the future.

“What the world needs now is love sweet love it’s the only thing that there just to little of…” how true it is that there isn’t enough love to fight off such evil. Love can never spread like wild fire because too much of it is put out by hatred.

Just when you think your having it rough stop and think of those who are far worse off then you who are living in counties where war is going on, suicide bombs are being set off, where innocents lives are being taken because of their race, religion, gender and their ethic background.

For the children & babies in the world who are orphaned, abuse, starving, neglected to fend for themselves. For the women who are taking advantage of discriminated, badly beating, rape, abuse, controlled and killed because of their beliefs and rights of standing up of being a woman. For any other such acts that are going on right now that I can't even imagine is happing... Think of those who are homeless that are suffer in poverty, illness, pain, and starvation everyday… the things we take for granted is what they have to survive...
To those soldiers who are fighting for our country by scarifies their lives to safe ours and for those who have died in vain we salute you all. To the women and men in the arm forces who go out of the way by working hard to protect us from such acts of crime I honor you all. I would like to say a personal thanks to a certain individual who has become my life hero I thank you for all that you do for me and for your hard work you do for our society I honor you…
In my own personal life I have experience and lived through some of these tragedies at different times in my life for some of them still haunts me… I am a survivor of many things for I have traveled a long road and continue to keep on strolling ahead… I count my blessings and keep the faith, for everyday I live I am living free... I am proud to be in America "I lOVE THIS COUNTRY"

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Something Worth Spreading

I have a story, a message, and mission to accomplish to inspire, to teach, to help others learn and understand that despite our differences we have to look at it as an aspect of why we are that way… how we can learn from it and use it to teach others. No matter how great or small it maybe it could make a difference in one’s life. We are all the same inside the only thing distinguishes us from each other is our appearance that’s what defines us of who we are…

I have Neurofibromatosis short for NF it’s a genetic disorder that causes tumors to grow along various types of nerves, which affects the development of non-nervous tissues such as bones and skin. These tumors can grow anywhere on or in the body. The complications I have with this disease are disfigurement, scoliosis curvature of the spine, learning disability, congenital defects of bone bowing of the leg bones below the knee. It occurs in 1:4000 births. There is no cure for it. www.nf.org

I’ve gamble with this my entire life I failed of ignoring to acknowledge it, letting it get out of control, it’s slowly taking over my life. It’s like a weed out of control spreading into vines weaving its way through planting thorns in you. The thicker it gets the tougher it is the more you tug the stronger it gets, wildly growing covering up everything in sight.

It’s unpredictable dieses you never know when, where or how it’s going to strike you like a bolt of electricity it shocks every nerve in your body. With a flip of a switch it hits you in the dark, leaving you scrambling until you can’t fight it anymore. The toll it has on you is over whelming; it changes your appearance, your image of self-esteem, your ability to be self-efficient, your mobility of independence. It detaches your body from doing things with your mind leaving you paralyze.

The damage it does destroys you from the inside out, leaving you with scars of pain. The hardest thing is learning to accept it; cause it’s never going to go away… it lives inside continuing to grow. It covers you up making you noticeable you can’t hide, run, it enables you to move leaving you alone, scared, and lost.

I would like to say a few words about my very best friend who as become my life long sister, for so long loneliness became my enemy, it hid me from the world leaving me in the dark. I was too afraid of being found cause I didn’t want to be seen this way so I stayed behind closed doors. I was ashamed, embarrass of myself to let anyone get attach to me, of accepting the dieses that was covering me up of the person inside. She came into my life opening my door, stepping right in. She gave me a light to shine. She has giving me so much of what I was missing, the love, compassion, support, and her sisterly advice… She giving me recognition, motivation, and determination of finding myself, that I have a purpose in life, that I need to fulfill. Just when my life was on the verge she came into my life giving me a purpose to live again… I owe it to her for helping me find my way back. I don’t think I couldn’t made it this far without her. Thanks Monique

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

A little of me

My name is ??? but for now I go by lil wings. I want to start with a welcome… thank you for stopping in… please take a look around and drop in a few words… I hope you come back long enough to get to know my name the meaning behind it…

Please be patient w/me for all this web creating stuff is all new to me any tips of the trait or pointers you have I would very much appreciate it… I need all the help I can to improve my site. For now I am going to start with this blogger thing, to see how much response I get from it… to get an idea of where I should go from here. (Thanks Yvonne for suggesting it) I want to connect with the world and share with you my words, thoughts, and opinions, about life and how I find it to be very rewarding…

I started thinking of how I could improve my life and in the same hand help others out there who need some guidance, reassurance and motivation or just a friend to associate with, maybe your that person…

I live in the USA been here most of my life the other bit I’ve lost in translation… I consider myself lucky for I have face many trials & tribulations in my life… I fought the worse and from it I’ve gain the best…

If you continue to walk my path I will keep strolling along so we can get a better view of what’s on the other side…

lil wings