Something Worth Spreading

I have a story, a message, and mission to accomplish to inspire, to teach, to help others learn and understand that despite our differences we have to look at it as an aspect of why we are that way… how we can learn from it and use it to teach others. No matter how great or small it maybe it could make a difference in one’s life. We are all the same inside the only thing distinguishes us from each other is our appearance that’s what defines us of who we are…

I have Neurofibromatosis short for NF it’s a genetic disorder that causes tumors to grow along various types of nerves, which affects the development of non-nervous tissues such as bones and skin. These tumors can grow anywhere on or in the body. The complications I have with this disease are disfigurement, scoliosis curvature of the spine, learning disability, congenital defects of bone bowing of the leg bones below the knee. It occurs in 1:4000 births. There is no cure for it. www.nf.org

I’ve gamble with this my entire life I failed of ignoring to acknowledge it, letting it get out of control, it’s slowly taking over my life. It’s like a weed out of control spreading into vines weaving its way through planting thorns in you. The thicker it gets the tougher it is the more you tug the stronger it gets, wildly growing covering up everything in sight.

It’s unpredictable dieses you never know when, where or how it’s going to strike you like a bolt of electricity it shocks every nerve in your body. With a flip of a switch it hits you in the dark, leaving you scrambling until you can’t fight it anymore. The toll it has on you is over whelming; it changes your appearance, your image of self-esteem, your ability to be self-efficient, your mobility of independence. It detaches your body from doing things with your mind leaving you paralyze.

The damage it does destroys you from the inside out, leaving you with scars of pain. The hardest thing is learning to accept it; cause it’s never going to go away… it lives inside continuing to grow. It covers you up making you noticeable you can’t hide, run, it enables you to move leaving you alone, scared, and lost.

I would like to say a few words about my very best friend who as become my life long sister, for so long loneliness became my enemy, it hid me from the world leaving me in the dark. I was too afraid of being found cause I didn’t want to be seen this way so I stayed behind closed doors. I was ashamed, embarrass of myself to let anyone get attach to me, of accepting the dieses that was covering me up of the person inside. She came into my life opening my door, stepping right in. She gave me a light to shine. She has giving me so much of what I was missing, the love, compassion, support, and her sisterly advice… She giving me recognition, motivation, and determination of finding myself, that I have a purpose in life, that I need to fulfill. Just when my life was on the verge she came into my life giving me a purpose to live again… I owe it to her for helping me find my way back. I don’t think I couldn’t made it this far without her. Thanks Monique